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March 7, 2003
President Bush Calls For U.N. Vote He Vows to Ignore

In President Bush's Recent News Conference, Bush clearly stated that he wanted the U.N. to pass a resolution authorizing him to use military force on , and repeatedly said that he was going to use force whether or not the U.N. authorized it anyway. "I think it's very important to accord the U.N. the respect it deserves," he said, reading his statements from teleprompters with such great care that he appeared to be sleep-walking, "and that means pretty much doing whatever we please, whatever the result."

Some expressed concern that the President was losing his hearing during the question-and-answer period. For instance, when asked why other countries with whom the U.S. had fully shared its intelligence reports still opposed war, the President replied, "I'm fine, thank you. Thanks for asking. How are you?"

At other times, the President apeared to be contradicting himself. "This is unscripted," he said at one point, reading from a large placard on the wall that read, "This is unscripted."

Theater critic Noah Watson of the Daily Vernacular later commented onthe President's performance. "Perhaps it was unscripted. But it was so over-rehearsed that it had lost the tang of true spontaneity and lacked the breath of life that is the hallmark of a great theatrical performance." Watson gave the press conference five bananas out of a possible ten.

Posted by Tom Burka at 1:10 PM in News