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October 13, 2008
McCain To Suspend Campaign In Order to Rescue Campaign

In a dramatic move, John McCain announced today that he was going to suspend his campaign in a last ditch effort to save his campaign.

McCain called upon Barack Obama to honor his "state of emergency" and also suspend campaigning, but doubted that Obama would do so because Obama failed to put "country first" -- and also, McCain said, because Obama is an Arab terrorist. "And a fine, decent family man with whom I have disagreements," he added. "And a crazy Muslim."

john_mccain_400.jpg

McCain's campaign has been described by critics and supporters alike as a total disaster. "Others would continue their campaigns under these conditions, but that's not what a maverick would do," McCain told reporters. "This is why I'm not popular in Washington." Others disagreed, saying McCain was not popular in Washington because of his unsightly nose hairs and what some called his "increasingly uncontrollable jowls," among other things.

McCain reiterated his latest campaign slogan, saying that he was "not afraid to fight," and that "America needs a real fighter right now," but that "it takes a real fighter to stop fighting because sometimes not fighting is more effective fighting than actually fighting." At that point, aides grabbed McCain and threw him headfirst into a waiting limousine.

Supporters applauded McCain's bold choice, saying that the candidate needed to act because things looked so dire. "He's not running for Miss Congeniality," said supporter John Gaffney of Ohio. "Although I can understand that to some outsiders it looks that way."

Posted by Tom Burka at 2:42 PM in NewsTop Stories | Comments (11)

Comments

appluded?

They shouldna hadna dun dat

Posted by: name at October 14, 2008 4:32 AM

Point taken. "Apluded" in above post changed to "applauded".

Posted by: Tom at October 14, 2008 12:36 PM

Umm. He sounds like that playground bully that knows he's about to get his ass kicked, so instead of turning tail and running, he's holding his hands up and saying, "Can't we just turn the other cheek?"

Posted by: Rayne at October 14, 2008 3:47 PM

Your a hate monger just like Rev Wright. "Arab terrorist""And a crazy Muslim." Back those statements up with links to audio.....lol u cant, idiot

I can tell you what the difference is between Rev. Wright and David Duke. Rev. Wright spreads his hate in the name of religion.

See any resemblance with the Rev and terrorist?

Posted by: George F at October 14, 2008 4:27 PM

Well, "George F" (if that's your real name!), you truly prove the adage that Republicans just don't get humor/satire....

Posted by: PBen at October 15, 2008 9:33 AM

Wonder why folks like Georgie F come to this revered, humorous site which actually lampoons the foibles of politicians of all stripes, only see a hate monger in their narrow gun sights? Georgie if you want to bellow at real hate mongers go to Google and type in "Hatemongers Quarterly"

Posted by: L Ray at October 15, 2008 10:27 AM

Wonder why folks like Georgie F come to this revered, humorous site which actually lampoons the foibles of politicians of all stripes, only see a hate monger in their narrow gun sights? Georgie if you want to bellow at real hate mongers go to Google and type in "Hatemongers Quarterly"

Posted by: L Ray at October 15, 2008 10:27 AM

PBen:

I must disagree with your suggestion that "George F" proves that Republicans don't get humor.

I think his comments prove just the opposite.

Posted by: Green Eagle at October 18, 2008 11:49 AM

I guess George F plans to learn the hard way. After all, honkies like him will soon be picking cotton on Wright's plantation for no wages, riding on the back of the bus and using 'Honkies Only' bathrooms.

If he'd been more pleasant, he mighta had a shot as a House Honkie with its shorter 12-hour workday.

But considering he's just 2/3rds of a man, I guess it's no wonder he can't fully grasp the future facing him.

Posted by: KevinHayden at October 18, 2008 8:24 PM

Rumor is, that this week McCain will make a big political speech and actually suspend his campaign staff and new ones will be assigned headed by Joe Lieberman and that Sarah Lying Palin will resign for the good of the party and a certain Mormon will replace her. He will apologize for the negative tone of the campaign and with one week left will forge forward. Supposedly, this has been in the works all along.

Posted by: Anthony Look at October 19, 2008 3:53 AM

So where it to find?,

Posted by: name at February 5, 2011 6:16 AM

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