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November 14, 2008
Missouri To Keep Electoral Votes, Will Remain White
Has Decided to Save Electoral Votes for 2012
The State of Missouri has decided to remain the sole white state among the fifty otherwise red or blue states that have pledged electoral votes towards candidates for the office of U.S. President after deciding to "bank" its electoral votes in advance of the next election. "We're pretty frustrated with what we see as a lack of a voice in the outcome of these Presidential contests," said Missouri Secretary of State Hannah Clyland. "We figure that with 22 electoral votes in 2012, or 33 in 2016, we can put an end to this constant harping on Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida." Political analysts have been baffled since November 5, when, although 100% of Missouri's votes had been counted, Missouri failed to declare a winner in the race for President. "We were all, like, hey, what happened to Missouri?" said analyst Chuck Todd of MSNBC. Todd initially speculated in a television broadcast last Tuesday night that Missouri was remaining "white" in solidarity with Canada and Mexico. Today the Missouri Secretary of State admitted that Missouri has decided not to award its electoral votes to either candidate this year, but would "save them up for the future." "We're going to keep our electoral votes for the next Presidential contest," Secretary of State Clyland told reporters Thursday afternoon. She declared that not only was it prudent to do so, it was a good example to consumers in today's "spendthrift economy." 
CommentsPosted by: Revinem at November 14, 2008 7:50 PM This one, I absolutely love. There are a ton of people around me that will now have to endure listening to me read this entry to them. Thanks for that fun. Posted by: strangeHeather at November 15, 2008 7:54 PM Whatever it was blue you just don't want a freaking landslide so you decide not to give it you know Obama won that state what is wrong with you? Posted by: uh Huh at November 16, 2008 11:48 AM yes what is wrong with you blue missouri landslide yes oh you rascal you what uh Huh sayed yes yes yes oh yes Posted by: Molly at November 16, 2008 10:23 PM Hahahahahaha. That is quite funny. Posted by: Chris Kaz at November 17, 2008 3:35 AM Hey they ought to get it right. There were people who were turned away from polling places in KC because they didn't even get the voter registration lists correct. Thank GOD we didn't have another Florida incident like 2000 when things were not done correctly. At least the larger portion of the USA got ot right this time. Posted by: Terry at November 17, 2008 9:48 AM Hey they ought to get it right. There were people who were turned away from polling places in KC because they didn't even get the voter registration lists correct. Thank GOD we didn't have another Florida incident like 2000 when things were not done correctly. At least the larger portion of the USA got it right this time. Posted by: Terry at November 17, 2008 9:49 AM Missouri is the new Florida. Thant goodness this is not 2000, with Florida, excuse me, Jeb Bush deciding the election for his brother. Posted by: lenegal at November 18, 2008 1:14 PM Whatever it was blue you just don't want a freaking landslide No...exactly the opposite. Missouri desperately wanted to remain the "bellwether" of presidential elections. So...as long as it looked like McCain might pull it out, they refused to report. Posted by: Kvatch at November 25, 2008 10:36 AM Post a comment |
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very funny!