Almost all of the interpreters at the U.N. were fired or suspended without pay after President Bush, at a Joint News Conference today, expressed hope that in the future, the U.N. could "get its legs of responsibility back." Virtually all of the U.N. interpreters were fired, replaced, suspended, or, in the case of some countries, summarily executed after they related Bush's words to the Ambassadors they served.

The Chilean Ambassador, who unfortunately cannot now rehire his interpreter and is having problems replacing him, said, "I have heard that in Camaroon, they have a saying about `arms of butter', and of course I have the videotape `Abs of Steel,' but there is no such idiom in any language as `legs of responsibility'.'"

Ari Fleischer defended the President, saying that Bush had simply had a "language spasm," but that it required no medical attention and was nothing to worry about. "The President was clearly explaining that the U.N. needs to develop some intestines of jocularity," he stated.

He then excused himself, saying something about "inventing a teleprompter that can fit on a President's head like a hat."