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February 16, 2005
Feburary 15 To Be Designated National Judge William H. Pryor Day

Judge To Be Renominated Every Year In New Federal Holiday Ritual

George W. Bush today announced the creation of a new government holiday called Judge William H. Pryor Day. Every year, the President explained, whoever is President will nominate Judge William Pryor, Judge Priscilla Owen, and other judges that no Congress could possibly confirm for federal appeals court seats. "Senators will spend the day marching around the Capitol, wearing colorful ties, shaking fingers at one another, giving entertaining speeches, and breaking for lunch," said the President. "It'll be a great American hoot."

Americans were delighted at the creation of yet another federal holiday. "Does this mean another day I need a sitter for the kids?" said Daisy Allen, an accounts receivable clerk from Michigan.

"I'm just happy to see our government moving forward, getting important things done," said Willifred Mimmsler of Georgia.

Republicans and Democrats alike shared their delight with the new annual rite. "This is a pleasant break from our normal job of pushing bills through Congress written almost entirely by large and powerful corporations," said Senator Bill Frist.

"Sometimes you get tired of watering down the few good bills that make it to the Senate floor by slapping endless compromise provisions onto them," agreed Senator John Sununu.

"It is so very wearying sometimes to constantly offer lukewarm dissent and then finally cave," agreed Sen. Diane Feinstein. "This makes for a very nice change."

Posted by Tom Burka at 10:14 AM in