Measles and its date, Rubella, attended a private party hosted by the Department of Health and Secretary Kennedy five weeks ago, sources revealed.

An uncomfortable situation occurred when a member of the CDC, Dr. Albert Millet, declined to shake Measles's hand when it was offered, even though he had been vaccinated. "It was a terrific snub," and the party grew momentarily quiet until Kennedy got the band to play "Down with the Sickness" and guests returned to the dance floor according to one observer.

Kennedy reportedly had some private conversations with Measles during the dessert portion of the dinner. The substance of the conversation is unknown, but an anonymous source claims to have heard the word "Pennsylvania" and seen money exchanged during the meeting.

The anonymous source has since been hospitalized with fever, cough, runny nose, red watery eyes, and small white spots around her mouth.