February 28, 2007
Fast Forward

Laura and Barbara Bush, Sr. Retake White House

by Guest Blogger Victor Barall

Washington, D.C., November, 2016 - The Republican "Dream Team" of Laura Bush and the elder Barbara Bush swapped control of the White House with the Clinton dynasty today, ending eight years of Democratic rule. The Republicans decided that Laura Bush and Barbara Bush would become the Republican "Dream team" to retake American governance from the Clinton clan, and their gamble paid off.

Historians believe that Barbara, 92, and Laura, 65, will be the first mother-in-law, daughter-in-law ruling duo since the late Roman Empire.

The new "points of light," as they called themselves, campaigned successfully despite some rocky patches.

The campaign took a serious downturn when disaffected Bush family handler, James Baker IV -- still fuming over George W's dismissal of the 2006 Iraq Commission Report as "just so many dictionary words" -- leaked that Barbara, almost completely senile, stalked the Kennebunkport family compound muttering, "Read my lips. No nudes, Texas!" However, the campaign bounced back when Laura successfully distanced herself from her disastrously inept husband by telling voters, "I did not have sex with that man!"

A highly placed anonymous source, Calvin Coolidge IV, conceded that Barbara and Laura had not been not the first choice of the party wise men. "We had hoped to run Jenna and the younger Barbara" – the First Daughters of the second George. But, Coolidge said, "their probation officer refused to let them stand for elective office until they had finished their community service."

Gov. Chelsea Clinton is still smarting from losing her bid to keep the White House in Clintonian control, but no one is more distraught than senior Senator Barack Obama, who failed once again to win the Democratic Presidential nomination this election season.

"That's all right," said Obama. "I have two daughters."

Written by Victor Barall in a moment of dynastical apoplexy. Many thanks!

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:10 PM in News