July 7, 2006
Lay Shocked To Find He Can't Take It With HIm

GOP Also Outraged

Kenneth Lay argued strenuously with St. Peter upon discovering that he was not permitted to take his vast fortune to the afterlife.

"Then what was the point of doing away with the estate tax?" he argued.

Outraged Republicans leapt to defend Lay and vowed to pass an emergency bill giving Lay "much needed" relief. "Kenneth Lay made a lot of money, he was punished for his crimes, and he paid the ultimate penalty: he died for his sins," said Senator Bill Frist, "Now the afterlife is trying to penalize him again. It amounts to double taxation."

Republican pundit Ann Coulter advocated burning money left behind by deceased moguls a a disincentive to "the otherwordly." "If we can't take it with us, then nobody should be able to have it."

Lay finished his argument with St. Peter by bilking St.Peter out of millions, which constituted the Saint's "whole afterlife savings," sources said.

St. Peter refused to disclose where Lay was to be consigned by the Almighty , but hinted that it might not be as nice as a minimum security Federal Prison Camp.

Posted by Tom Burka at 9:06 AM in News