April 25, 2006
Ten Reasons I Will Make A Great White House Press Secretary

1) I believe I've answered that question ten times already. Let's move on.

2) I can't comment on a matter in which there is an ongoing criminal investigation.

3) I can assure you that nobody would like to know the answer to that question more than the President.

4) I don't know how you found out that I'm the new Press Secretary, but whoever leaked it to you has vitally damaged our national security and is an unwitting agent of al Qaeda.

5) That's a statement. Do you have a question?

6) Can you hold on to that? It's such a nice day today I'd like to move the briefing outside.

7) I've never really thought about it before, but that's a really interesting question.

8) You'd have to ask him that.

9) I don't know what he knew or didn't know or when he knew or didn't know it.

10) I am absolutely not thinking about stepping down. I assure you that there is no basis to the rumor that I may be leaving. I have personal assurances from the President that I will not be asked to leave. Having said that, I'm going to decline to answer your question in deference to my immediate successor.

Posted by Tom Burka at 1:30 PM in News