March 3, 2005
God Denies Scalia's Authority Derives From Him

[Scalia] called the Ten Commandments "a symbol of the fact that government derives its authority from God," adding, "That seems to me an appropriate symbol to put on government grounds."
Today God, responding to a comment made by Justice Antonin Scalia, noted He had given neither government nor Justice Scalia authority "to do anything."

"I think Justice Scalia may be mistaken," God is reported to have said.

"I think the American government was created by a bunch of guys from England," said God, "but I could be wrong." God also reportedly mumbled that, although He was present at the signing of the Declaration of Independence, that "John Hancock guy" had not left Him room to sign anywhere. God also noted that he had nothing to do with the U.S. Constitution, "particularly the Electoral College," although He thought the Bill of Rights was "not so bad."

God complained about the "common misconception among the unwise" that governmental authority derives from Him. "My Justice is perfect," said God. "But if you look, I think you'll see that the justice of Man is necessarily less than that." According to a lesser prophet, God then instructed an archangel to send a memo to Justice Scalia on original sin.

In an aside, God said that mortals needed to lay off displaying the Ten Commandments in courthouses. "You don't see me putting up copies of the Penal Code in my churches," He said.

Posted by Tom Burka at 1:20 PM in News