October 19, 2004
Vaccine Shortage Solution To Social Security Problem, Says Thompson

Secretary of Health and Human Resources Tommy Thompson said today that the flu vaccine shortage was actually a "blessing in disguise" that will solve any problem with Social Security funding in the future.

"John Kerry is complaining that Bush hasn't protected the Social Security trust fund for our children," said Thompson, "And now we're pretty sure that the trust fund will always be around."

Thompson said that the flu vaccine shortage thus demonstrated the kind of "careful, long-range planning" that the Bush Administration brings to bear on difficult problems. "One or two more vaccine shortages, and we'll be able to put away that so-called lockbox," Thompson boasted.

Thompson was ordered to make a statement about the vaccine shortage by Karl Rove, who called to remind him that "sick people vote, too."

"Not if they can't make it to the polls," said Thompson.

Update: Norbizness has turned the whole thing into a vaccine headline flu-fest. Go on over here and submit your own headline (and feel free to add it in my comments, too.)

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:43 AM in News