October 10, 2003
Bush Mounts P.R. Offensive To Convince Public Venture Probably Doesn't Suck Big Time
Six months from the day Baghdad fell to American troops, George W. Bush told Americans yesterday that the situation in is "a lot better than you probably think."
Bush continued, "It probably doesn't suck complete green eggs. It probably isn't a complete fricking disaster. . . . O.K.?"
The President tried to reassure the country today that the war in was justified and that rebuilding was progressing well. He made the comments as part of a White House public relations offensive that some find defensive and others find completely offensive.
The White House has adopted several strategies, among them pushing the slogan "Got War?" and an ad featuring a soldier standing out in 120-degree heat and a kevlar vest saying, "At least I'm not freezing my ass off."
Condoleezza Rice swept the nation yesterday, and vacuumed the front porch, saying, "The media is always showing you the bad side of . But if you roll over, there's some really great things under there."
Donald Rumsfeld, who looked like he had just crawled out from under , said, "Freedom is not as untidy as you might think."
Reservist Mitchell Fergesun of South Dakota, who is set to begin a tour of duty in next week, said, "Bush is right. probably is not as bad as we think."
He waited until his wife and three children had gone into the backyard to play and whispered:
"It's probably a whole lot worse."
Posted by Tom Burka at 8:32 AM