U.S. Intelligence has begun taking “NooTropics,” CoQ-10, and, on the advice of Mayam Bialik for Neuriva. “Our brain isn’t functioning the way it used to,” said a spokesman. “We keep forgetting where we left our keys, and we keep misplacing our iPhones, and then we can’t remember our iCloud password so we can’t even get the phones to make that pinging sound which appears to be coming from everywhere in your apartment instead of the one place the phone actually is. And then we forgot about Afghanistan completely.”

US Intelligence is also planning on scheduling a colonoscopy and seeing an orthopedist because of this weird pain in its knee.

Some have noticed that U.S.Intelligence, which collectively produces intelligence from many government entities, has been limping and favoring its right leg from time to time. Joseph Hunter, a foreign policy expert and foot doctor noted “U.S. Intelligence may well be in need of a walker.”