One Justice Undecided

A recent Gallup/CNN/Newsweek/Time/New York Times/Washington Post/Zogby/Rasmussen Poll of Supreme Court Justices showed that the Presidential race is tied, with 40% of Supreme Court Justices committed to Bush, and 40% for Kerry. 20% of the Court is still undecided. The poll was based on a sample of four people.

The campaigns of both candidates have built to a fever pitch as the field of uncommitted Justices has winnowed to one. Kerry and Bush will be flying from Ohio and New Jersey, respectively, to spend the last days of their campaigns at the Supreme Court. Dick Cheney has been warning Justices about the danger of nuclear armageddon from his post on the couch in Scalia's chambers.

Sandra Day O'Connor has said that she has not decided who she will vote for when the Supreme Court decides the election some time after November 2. (Justice Kennedy has also said that he is undecided, but nobody believes him.) Both campaigns have designated O'Connor's chambers as a "swing vote state."

There is some concern that several members of the Court may not vote at all, but members of the Woman's League of Voters are mounting a Get Out the Vote Drive which is directed, principally, at Justice Thomas.

"This election will turn entirely upon turnout," said Owen Ferlinghetti, a race-car-driver-turned-pundit. "If the Democrats can block Rehnquist's driveway, they have a very good chance of winning this thing."

Predicts Votes Likely To Be or Not To Be

The Gallup Organization, responding to charges that it greatly over-sampled Republicans in calculating Bush's and Kerry's support among likely voters in its latest poll, said that it did so in order to take into account the massive voter fraud which is expected to take place between now and election day.

According to Gallup, among registered voters, Bush leads 46%-43 %, a virtual tie within the margin of error. Among Gallup's likely voters -- by which they mean, "voters whose votes are likely to be counted" -- Bush will win easily, 52%-44%.

"We're quite surprised that other polling organizations have failed to artificially jack up the Republican sample in the likely voter mix given the track record of Sproul and Associates and their ilk," said Jack Gallup. "Why aren't other pollsters counting the soon-to-be uncounted?"

Gallup was referring to the GOP-funded group that destroyed thousands of Democrats' voter registrations in Nevada and Oregon recently.

"We try to keep track of voter fraud so that we can calculate for it in our polls, but after Nevada, Oregon, New England, South Dakota and Ohio, and Florida, it's hard to keep up," said Lynn Gallup. "We're thinking of just sampling Republicans. It would make our lives a lot easier."

"We expect thousands upon tens of thousands of democratic voters to be methodically disenfrachised --and that's just in Texas. In the swing states, we expect democratic voters to be -- well, rounded up and taken to Texas."