December 12, 2016
James Comey Says Santa's Letters Received on Private Server, Opens Investigations
FBI Director James Comey today announced that a laptop that an elf had been using to communicate with underaged reindeer contained hundreds of thousands of previously undisclosed letters to Santa asking Santa to intervene and stop Donald Trump from taking office.
"Dear Santa," one such letter reads, "All I want for Christmas is Hillary Clinton as President Elect." Other letters ask Santa to bribe American electors with expensive gifts.
"These letters suggest there is a vast conspiracy asking a foreign power -- Santa -- to meddle with the results of an American election," Comey said. "Nobody should attempt to change the results of an American election with a letter."
An aide whispered in Comey's ear, after which Comey added, "Of course, there are exceptions."
Posted by Tom Burka at 1:36 PM
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