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March 22, 2010
Every Republican in Congress Calls in Sick

Dems Pass Historic Health Care Bill Anyway

The entire Republican Congress called in sick yesterday as Democrats passed a historic health care reform bill designed to guarantee affordable health care for every American.

"I was feeling a bit woozy," said Republican Congressman Joe Wilson. "I just didn't have the energy to come in to work today and call President Obama a liar."

"I would have gone to work but I was leaking from both ends, if you know what I mean," said Congresswoman Jean Schmidt (R. - Ohio). She admitted, however, that most people felt this was the case whenever she spoke in public.

Minority Leader John Boehner, whose illness had momentarily given him normal skin tones, explained. "As a party, we only drag ourselves from our sick beds to vote for outrageous expenditures on unnecessary wars that decrease the security of our nation and bankrupt future generations."

Other Republican congressmen noted that they had received an enormous volume of phone calls from Americans who protested the legislation.

Health care expert Professor Hodding Dorkder of Yale agreed. "The vast majority of Americans were not feeling well enough to pick up the phone and express their support," he said.

Posted by Tom Burka at 12:27 PM in | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

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Comments

funny!

Posted by: shee at March 22, 2010 9:41 PM

when can i go to the doctor for free?

http://www.commentbug.com

Posted by: me here at March 23, 2010 1:04 AM

The entire Republican Congress called in sick yesterday as Democrats passed a historic health care reform bill designed to guarantee affordable health care for every American.

Actually - it guarantees health care insurance not health care, which is nowhere near the same thing.

Posted by: Blue at March 23, 2010 2:16 AM

The Republicans are right. America should hold out for universal epizootic coverage.

Posted by: murr brewster at March 23, 2010 3:05 AM

The Republicans are right. America should hold out for universal epizootic coverage.

Posted by: murr brewster at March 23, 2010 3:06 AM

Michelle Bachmann: The dog ate my brain.

Posted by: Bobby the Lip at March 23, 2010 2:56 PM

Nic3e job.

Posted by: Tim at March 24, 2010 1:25 PM

Good to see you, Tom. You been sick, too?

Posted by: Brooklyn Girl at March 25, 2010 6:33 PM

What a bunch of children. The USA is doomed.

Posted by: Mark at September 6, 2010 8:02 AM

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