February 5, 2009
In Effort To Speed Confirmation Hearings, Democrats Repeal Tax Code

Democrats repealed the tax code entirely today, citing the need to swiftly fill positions in the Obama White House.

"The fact is, it's just impossible to find someone with the appropriate level of government experience who hasn't cheated on their taxes," said Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff.

"In all fairness, most career government officials are unaware that income is taxable as income," explained White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. As he spoke, Gibbs himself filed an amended return.

The issue came to a head recently as former majority leader Tom Daschle bowed out of the running for Health and Human Services Secretary because he only belatedly realized that receiving over two hundred thousand dollars worth of goods and services -- a chauffer-driven car for one year -- could be considered income. Daschle explained that he had thought the driver was just a "nice guy" who offered to give him lifts because it was "on the way." "I couldn't believe my luck," said Daschle, "For an entire year he was headed in my direction."

In later remarks, Daschle had said that he had thought it possible that he had won the use of the car and driver in a church raffle or a lottery.

"He did win the lottery," said Jill McIntyre, a coal miner from Slakeville, Pennsylvania. "He was elected to Congress, and after that, he's taken care of for life."

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:38 AM in News