September 2, 2008
Sarah Palin Thoroughly Vetted By Jamie Spears' Mom, McCain Campaign Says
John McCain's campaign vigorously denied accusations that it had not thoroughly vetted McCain's vice presidential pick, Governor Sarah Palin, saying she had been vetted and "raked over the coals" by a trusted campaign advisor. That advisor was Lynn Spears -- Jamie and Britney Spears' mother. "Spears gave Palin two pacifiers up," a spokesman for the McCain campaign said today.
Spears was selected to vet Palin because she is an authority on mothering, and the author of numerous books on the subject, including "Through The Storm -- How To Raise Good Christian Girls." She is also an authority on raising good Christian grandchildren "as quickly as possible," says Dr. Ian Fesslhoff, an expert on parenting experts.
Spears confirmed that she okayed Palin for the Veep spot on the McCain ticket. "I especially approved of Palin's strong religious and moral stances on abortion and abstinence-only policies toward sex education," she said. As a mom, she also felt the timing of Palin's placement on the ticket was key: "There's no better time to run for office than when you have a five-month-old with special needs and a teenage daughter with baby number two on the way."
In a campaign appearance late today, Senator McCain declined to comment on the recent revelation that Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is five months' pregnant, or the rumor that Gov. Palin's infant son is really also Bristol's child, except to say that he "looks forward to presiding over a nation of young people."
"Young people caring for much younger people," noted Dr. Fesslhoff.
You’re so right Tom, I cannot tell you. I was talking to Dr. Laura the other day and she feels the exact same way. Laura says, and I’m paraphrasing: Certainly, if a child becomes ill and is rushed to the hospital, and you’re on the hotline with both Israel and Iran as nuclear tempers are flaring, where’s your attention going to be? Where should your attention be? Well, it’s going to be where it should be, on the sale at Macys. No woman should have to run for public office. I’m stunned - what kind of role model is a woman whose fifth child was born, and then goes back to the job of Governor within days of the birth? I had a sort of normal kid and I didn’t go back for five years. Look – couldn’t the Republican Party find one competent female with adult children to run for Vice President? I’m having apoplexy over here. Any full-time working wife and mother knows that the family takes the short end of the stick: you should live here. Marriages and the welfare of children suffer – child-care facilities are a necessity – when a stressed-out mother doesn’t have time to shop, to play bridge, for that afternoon martini, to fully accessorize, to be a woman, a wife, and a hands-on Mommy.