It's worth beating conservatives in fights, because even though conservatives won't know that you've won the fight -- they are poorly acquainted with reality -- other liberals will enjoy your victory and admire you for it.

My chief tactic is sarcasm (are you surprised?), but my friend, Dan Kurtzman, has written an entire book on the subject. Funny and clever, give it a look.

I might suspect Dan plays both sides of the fence, since he has also authored How to Win A Fight With A Liberal, but Dan told me that he loaded this with false information to "throw the conservatives off." I believe him, because when we spoke about it, Dan was wearing a tie-dyed shirt, a "Vote McGovern" button, and had a "Support Our Troops: Bring Them Home" bumpersticker on his leg.

He told me his bag of "Go Reagan!" bumperstickers, and "I Love Rush!" and "Let's Get Rid of Taxes!" buttons is for when he goes undercover.

Check out his "What Kind of Conservative Are You?" test -- funny but scary. (You can also test your liberality, which is hysterical.)