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January 30, 2006
Democrats To Filibuster Selves

Democrats today said that they will filibuster the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito as long as they can muster the votes to defeat themselves and cut off debate. Their strategy was designed to send a message that they strongly oppose "this controversial nominee" and will definitely support him.

Sen. Hillary Clinton, upon learning that the Democrats would certainly defeat any attempted filibuster, immediately announced her support for one. "I think we should do everything we can do to stop this nomination," she said. "The future of America depends on it."

Sen. Barack Obama -- who has said nothing to stir up opposition to Alito or to frame the debate surrounding Supreme Court nominees during his entire time in office -- reluctantly supported a last-minute filibuster. He told reporters that he decried the Democrats' failure to stir up opposition to the nomination and frame the debate surrounding Supreme Court nominees -- especially while relying upon last minute tactics. "The way I am governing appalls me," he said on a Sunday morning talk show.

Sen. John Kerry, who was aghast by the notion that Samuel Alito could take the bench, denied that he was pandering to his base by leading the charge for a filibuster. Reporters noted that Kerry had his finger in the wind the entire time he was speaking.

DNC Chairman Howard Dean tried to hail the Democrats' strategy as a victory. "There is nothing more important for the Democrats right now than being unified and on message," he said. "Today we're showing that together, we can't do anything."

Posted by Tom Burka at 12:53 PM in News

January 27, 2006
Smell The Coffee

Dave Johnson, who as creator of the political blog Seeing the Forest has brilliantly chronicled how money, power and media have kept the right ascendant, has now started a coffee (and chocolate) blog. It's called Smelling the Coffee. I can only conclude that he needs to stay awake so that he can do more political blogging.

Grab a cup of joe and stop on by.

Posted by Tom Burka at 8:40 AM in Links

January 20, 2006
Assisted Suicide Ruling Lets Democrats Move Ahead With Plan For Self-Immolation

As the Supreme Court ruled this week that Oregon's assisted suicide law was valid, Democrats rejoiced that there was now no further bar to their complete self-destruction.

"Now we can finally put an end to it all," said Sen. Diane Feinstein, who admitted that she had been worried that she was on shaky legal ground when she tried to sink the party earlier this week.

Sen. Joe Biden expostulated on his delight about the ruling, frequently veering off topic to tell personal anecdotes and occasionally wondering why people yawned when he spoke.

Hillary Clinton was too busy, either making remarks to satisfy her base or passing anti-flag burning laws to satisfy conservatives, to comment on the Supreme Court's decision.

Professor Eugene Tibbs, author of the book "How to Do Yourself In Without Going to Jail: A Guide," said that he did not know why Democrats were so happy about the ruling. "This ruling covers assisted suicide," he said. "As far as I can see, the Democrats never needed any help."

Posted by Tom Burka at 1:32 PM in News

Opinions You Should Have Named Publisher of One of the Top Ten Internet Satire Stories of 2005

finalist.gifHumorfeed, a collective of about 60 satire sites o n the web, has named its Top Ten Stories of 2005 (go check it out), among them, our very own "Existence of Poor People A Surprise, Says Bush". We're certainly honored. A panel of five judges (including MadKane and Satirewire's Andrew Marlatt) will now pick their favorite. Cross your fingers for us.

Posted by Tom Burka at 12:02 PM in Notices

January 10, 2006
Stay Tuned

I'm a little backed up with other writing: but there will be fresh blogging here, soon. In the meantime:

Great 24/7 blogging of the Alito hearing over at Liberal Oasis this week.

Think Progress is, per usual, doing a fine job of fact checking everyone and everything.

Avedon Carol over at The Sideshow reminds us about the little known result of the '"election" in 2000. I don't know how Avedon does it, but she manages to keep up with everything worth knowing in the blogosphere and the news; read her daily.

I've also been reading Doghouse Riley, who does a great recap of Roger Ailes's takedown of Captain Ed and throws in some additional punches.

Speaking of which, you can't go wrong reading all of Roger Ailes.

Update: On the Alito hearing, I should also mention ReddHedd's often funny and always informative blogging at Firedoglake. Her summary of Biden's questioning was dead on.

Further update: Avedon Carol is not just a great blogger, she's a woman. (I knew that.) Post corrected to accurately reflect gender.

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:24 AM in Links

January 1, 2006
2005: The Year in Review

Another great year. As readers may recall, this time last year I wished that 2005 would be nothing like 2004. I apparently neglected to explain that I was hoping for something better; I will not make that mistake again. Here's hoping 2006 will be a better year. Herewith, the highlights (so to speak) of 2005:

January - Bush was inaugurated. After four years in the Office of Presidency, he was finally elected to that position. Bush's first budget quickly sailed up to top the chart of New York Times Best Selling Fiction.

Donald Rumsfeld was sent to give solace to the tsunami victims.

A report found that Dan Rather was the only television media flack not on the U.S. Government payroll.

In late January, Google started indexing brains. They started with Bill Gates.

Iraq took its first step toward what, here in America, we call a "democracy."

February - Zoloft and Paxil were replaced by the "W" pill.

March - After the GOP-controlled congress went into special session to pass a special law just for Terry Shiavo, the other 293 million Americans asked to get their own laws.

The GOP, tired of "half-measures", passed a law giving everyone's money directly to the rich.

April - The Pentagon took over the food pyramid.

May - After Newsweek retracted their apparently entirely accurate story on "Koran flushing", Bush tried to retract the entirely awful Iraq war, which, it had become increasingly evident, was also in the toilet.

June - The GOP declared Paul Revere to be a despicable tattletale.

Senator Bill Frist offered to make medical diagnoses by mail.

Noting that the U.S. Army was already in place, President Bush decried the dreadfully dangerous state of things in a particular country and therefore urged us to invade Iraq again.

July - Amid signs that Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation was heating up, the White House refused to confirm ever knowing a "Karl Rove".

August - President Bush, considering a Federally mandated school science curriculum, decided that things fall "because God wants them to."

Busdh extended his vacation in Texas to clear "especially pernicious" brush.

September - God heard Bush declare John Kerry to be "soft on weather" (in 2004), and ordered Katrina.

Bush later said that he would have rescued poor people if he had known they existed.

Bush was shocked at his response to hurricane Katrina and vowed to find out where he was and what he was doing.

October - Bush nominated an actual blank slate to the Supreme Court and, concerned about torture, sought limits on interrogation -- of members of the White House.

November - Ahmed Chalabi was appointed chief instructor of the new White House School of Ethics.

God (who had a busy year) smacked Pat Robertson.

December - In a story yet to be written (let's just say, "DEVELOPING"), President Bush announced that he had authorized the use of constant, innumerable and entirely illegal wiretaps in order to stop terrorist schemes such as a plan to use 100,000 tiny but extremely powerful magnets to move the earth off of its axis.

So, I ask you, 2006: what took you so long?

Truly wishing all a very Happy (and better) New Year!

Posted by Tom Burka at 1:37 PM in 2005 Year in reviewYear in Review