Will Ask "Where was I?" and "What was I doing?"

President Bush announced yesterday that he will immediately undertake a comprehensive, exhaustive, and unrelenting investigation into himself, to discover his role, "if any," in the New Orleans disaster.

"I am going to ask tough questions and demand tough answers," Bush told reporters earlier today.

Speaking of the incredible force of the hurricane and the government's ignorance about the need for quick action in its aftermath, Bush said that there were many questions that needed to be answered.

"What did I not know and when did I not know it?" he said.

Bush wanted to know why he failed to act even though the National Weather Service precisely predicted the scope of the disaster a day before it occurred. "I am really at a loss," said Bush. "I guess that Cindy Sheehan thing had me even more rattled then I myself suspected."

Bush said that the investigation was too important a task to delegate to anyone else. "Some things you don't want to delegate to a subordinate or an inferior who might screw things up," he said. "Some things demand leadership."