Brush So Dense It Blocked Meeting With Cindy Sheehan, Says Bush

President Bush announced today that he is extending his five-week-long vacation until "at least October," because the brush on his Crawford ranch was "out of control," "all over the place," and "posed a possible threat to national security."

"No one's been attending to the brush," said Bush. But, he affirmed, he will not be deterred from his mission to clear it.

Spokespersons said Bush was so busy clearing the brush that he could not meet with Cindy Sheehan, who has been camping outside of the Crawford ranch until the President speaks to her about the Iraq war, where her son died serving the nation. Bush himself later told reporters that the brush was too dense for him to get to her. "It's a quagmire," he said.

Cindy Sheehan disagreed. "I don't see any brush," she said. "From where I stand, I can see everything quite clearly."