Koran Abuse, Certain Human Rights Violations Not Available In Syria, Syrian Officials Explain

The government of Syria has announced that it will send suspects to the United States for interrogation in order to skirt limitations on the handling of prisoners in Syria. "We have determined that we cannot adequately question Syrian suspects in this country," said Syrian Director of Prisoner Interrogation Hosni Washkar today. "We will get better results if they are kept in a gula-- excuse me, in a U.S. base."

President Bush hailed the arrangement as a "cooperative venture" designed to encourage the growth of democracy in Syria. "Freedom is on the march," he said.

The news comes just days after Amnesty International released a report condemning U.S. practices at Guantanamo. President Bush declared the report "absurd" and invited the authors of the report to Guantanamo so they can be "re-eddicated."

"We're not flushing Korans down toilets there," said Donald Rumsfeld late yesterday, after reporters forgot to ask the President follow-up questions during his press conference. "As to the Korans, we treat them fairly well." Rumsfeld declined to answer questions about the treatment of people.

Bush said that the Amnesty report was based upon the complaints of detainees who had been "trained to disassemble".

Amnesty International Gladys Potash commented, "It's Guantanamo that should be disassembled."

With a hat tip to Victor Barall.