Iraqis Also Screwing Up Whole Democracy Thing, Says Bush

In a press conference yesterday, President Bush affirmed that Americans were beginning to believe things were going poorly in Iraq just because things were not going well.

"All of these reports of how poorly things are going in Iraq is having an effect on Americans considering the sitchiation there," Bush said. "They're beginning to think that things are going poorly. And when we think that things are going poorly just because things are going poorly, the insurgents are winning, because that's just what they want us to do," said Bush.

President Bush also said that newly-trained Iraqi forces were "making a mess" of the whole "democracy thing." "Whoever trained these people should be given a good talking to," said Bush. "Or a Presidential Medal of Freedom."

Bush conceded that bombs were having an impact on Iraq. "Because that's what bombs do," he said. "They have an impact and they make these little craters."

President Bush concluded the conference by cautioning Americans not to draw conclusions based upon observable facts or conditions, and instead urged Americans to believe whatever made them "most happiest."

"That's what I do," he said.