October 3, 2004
Mount St. Helens Scientists Predict 70% Chance Of Bush Eruption In Next Debate
Experts See Increased Magma Activity, Gas Emissions
Scientists monitoring Washington's Mount St. Helens said today that there is a significant likelihood that George W. Bush will erupt at the next Presidential debate.
"All the signs are there," said Senior Vulcanologist Dr. Chezzlewit Glugner.
Although Bush has lain dormant for much of the past three years, scientists have taken note of some increased activity recently, including much rumbling which followed the last debate. Scientists monitoring Bush have also detected the "rotten egg smell" caused by certain gases emitted from his person, a sign which often precedes an eruption.
"There is definite cause for concern," Glugner said. A Bush eruption is likely to thump bibles all over the county, experts warn.
The reaction among political junkies has been varied. Panic-stricken members of the Washington University Young Republicans' Club were seen running around yelling, "Watch out! He's gonna blow!" Others have travelled great distances to camp out with beach chairs, telescopes, and cameras outside the St. Louis, Missouri hall where the next debate is to be held.
"I'm really looking forward to it," said Audie Madison, a local chiropractor. "I haven't seen a bimbo eruption in years."
Thanks to the always great skippy the bush kangaroo for supplying the idea. Everyone should go visit Skippy right now!
Posted by Tom Burka at 10:47 PM