Also Claims Swift Boats Actually Quite Slow

Challenged by Navy records showing that Larry Thurlow, a Swift boat veteran, was at best mistaken and at worst a colossal liar when he swore that John Kerry had been deliberately dishonest about his Vietnam war record, Thurlow has now taken the position that the entire Vietnam war was "a sham."

"It never happened," said Thurlow. "The so-called 'war' was nothing more than an immense government con game."

Thurlow claimed that he and the other Swift boat veterans spent the so-called war years "sunning themselves on beaches in the Mediterranean," and that not only did John Kerry take part in that, he was "the tannest of them all."

"By the end of the war," said Thurlow. "Kerry was a complete bronze. That's why he got the star."

Asked how it could be possible that the government could have tricked the American people into believing the country had been involved in a war that had never occurred, Turlow said, "It's easy. Say something loudly and frequently enough and people will believe anything."

"Let me tell you," he added. "I know exactly how it's done."