August 18, 2004
Anarchists Say Bloomberg Discount Button Crucial Chink In City's Armor
In a transparently mercantile bid to keep protesters from disrupting the Republican National Convention later this month, the Bloomberg administration will offer "peaceful political activists" discounts at select hotels, museums, stores and restaurants around town . . . [Mayor] Bloomberg conceded yesterday that not everyone who wore a button would be strictly vetted for his or her peacefulness. "Unfortunately, we can't stop an anarchist from getting a button," he said . . .Anarchists are planning to destroy the financial infrastucture of New York City during the Republican National Convention, "discounting the city to death" through the use of buttons designed to encourage peacefulness in visiting protestors.
"We will bring this city to its knees!" said "Mad" Alvin O'Zool, self-described anarchist and atheist. "These buttons are just the opportunity we've been waiting for."
The buttons will confer discounts at Applebee's and Mamie's Spoonbread restaurants, among other wildly desirable New York eateries.
"The delegates will be getting discounts, the protestors will be getting discounts -- when we anarchists use these pins to get massive discounts we will bring the city to the very brink of financial ruin!" O'Zool cried.
Mayor Bloomberg waxed philosphical on the question of whether violent protestors and radicals other than the anarchists will be cutting a wide swath of incendiary chaos and then wrongly using the pins to obtain satisfying, hot discounted meals.
"As long as they don't try to peacefully protest in Central Park," he said. "Anything but that."
Posted by Tom Burka at 11:39 AM