TV Stations To Show Reruns Of "Lassie" Tonight

During a rehearsal at the Fleet Center this morning, Senator John Kerry, who was practicing his speech at the central podium, accidentally accepted the Democratic Party's nomination, approximately ten hours early.

"I gratefully accept the nomination of the Democratic Party," he said, and a confused Kucinich delegate on the floor immediately moved to accept the nomination, which was seconded and passed by American Samoa.

Although Kerry immediately realized his mistake and tried to "take back" his acceptance, a member of the Rules Committee informed him that there were "absolutely no take-backsies."

Because Convention rules specify that no nominee may accept a nomination twice, Kerry cannot accept the nomination this evening, and television networks are planning on showing reruns of "Friends," "Seinfeld," and "Lassie."