Clinton Again Banished To Couch

Hillary Clinton was "extremely unsettled" by what she described as George W. Bush's "unnaturally kind remarks" to Clinton at the recent White House unveiling of Bill and Hilary Clinton's portraits. "The only explanation is that Bill is again `mowing someone else's lawn,' if you take my meaning," said one of Sen. Clinton's staffers.

"Bush was much more intimate in these several minutes with President Clinton than Gore was during his entire campaign," said a Gore campaign manager who wished to remain nameless, Donna Brazile. "It's not surprising that Hillary feels that Bill has one again indulged in fiddle-faddle."

In response, President Clinton was, once again, banished to the couch, where, as he recounted in his memoirs, he previously spent "an engaging two months" after "discussing" Monical Lewinski with Hillary. President Clinton is apparently thinking of fitting the couch with "full luxury options," including a stereo, fold-out digital TV with DVD playback, and portajohn.

Laura Bush did not, in turn, banish her husband to the couch because, she said, "he's never made a mistake." She added: "If he's sleeping with Bill Clinton, I'm sure it's for the national security."