Not Widespread, But Thankfully Good For Economy, Says Rumsfeld

A contrite U.S. Department of Labor explained that Friday's encouraging job numbers largely were due to increases in the hiring of U.S. military intelligence officers overseas and assorted specialists who "helped" them, as well as a large number of expensive civilian contractors employed in Iraq to perform interrogations.

"We believe the abuse, while certainly horrific, was not widespread," said Donald Rumsfeld last Friday, "but we are encouraged that, at the very least, this international scandal is helping to revive our economy."

Today the President lauded Rumsfeld for doing a "superb" job, and added that he was "impressed" at how Mr. Rumsfeld was able to see the "silver cloud" in even in the "darkest lining."

The Department of Labor was optimistic about the number of jobs the economy would add next month, even taking into account possible job losses of people who might be court-martialled, a spokesman said.