April 18, 2004
Bush To Return Iraq For Credit Or Refund

Two months before the invasion of Iraq, Secretary of State Colin L. Powell warned President Bush about the potential negative consequences of a war, citing what Mr. Powell privately called the "you break it, you own it" rule of military action, according to a new book.
President Bush today set into motion plans to return Iraq "for a full refund."

When Bush ordered military forces to invade Iraq, he reportedly told commanding Gen. Tommy Franks, "Make sure you get a receipt."

Today Bush announced that he wanted to exchange Iraq for "a country that welcomes invading Americans with open arms," and noted that he was "willing to take cash," but Iraqis said that they would probably only give him a credit towards the purchase of a fundamentalist Muslim theocracy.

Bush is also irritated because before he can return Iraq, he will have to wait in line for hours at the Iraqi Department of Customer Service.

Bush is prepared to make an impassioned plea. "The country was already broken when we got it," he will say. Bush will add that the "oilfields have never functioned properly" and complain about "an awful ding" in the "left side" of the country.

"We didn't do that," Dick Cheney is to claim.

Posted by Tom Burka at 8:27 PM in NewsTop Stories