April 14, 2004
American Idol Viewers Vote President Off Show

Fans of the Fox television show "American Idol" tuned in last night and voted immediately and resoundingly to bounce the President from the show.

"It was a one-note performance," said Terry Ackerly of Dented Fender, New Mexico.

Bush performed "Stay the Course," but, according to some fans, was only capable of repeating the same tired phrases in a jerky, halting manner.

"Sometimes it looked like he had totally forgotten the words," said Ackerly.

Simon Cowell was particularly harsh. "I don't know why you think you have a chance in this business," he told Bush, and called it "perhaps the worst performance of Elton John I have ever witnessed."

Randy Jackson said that he was "disappointed" but that "the vocals weren't there," and added that the President "didn't connect with him." Paula Abdul told the President that "she really liked his tie," but that sometimes he was "awfully smirky and a little pitchy."

"You could be fresher and more sincere," said Abdul.

Posted by Tom Burka at 8:20 AM in News