Insurgents misunderstanding the meaning of the Americans' "March Madness" have been celebrating the month with explosions, exchanges of shoulder-launched grenades, and chaos. Insurgents were shocked to discover that "March Madness" referred to a popular basketball tournament.

"We thought we were going along with the moment," said stunned insurgent Ismed Pallavi, "We have been creating the March Mayhem, just like all other Americans."

Pallavi was absolutely amazed that "March Madness" meant that he was supposed to enter a betting pool and spend the next several weeks camped out in front of a TV.

"Do I still have time to put some money down on Gonzaga?" he asked.

Professor Irving Mayhew noted that this was just another example of how the gulf between cultural norms in radically different societies can lead to violence.

"The solution is to teach Moslems to love college basketball," he said.