Would Really Rather Not Be Mentioned, He Says

In a startling development in arguments before the Supreme Court yesterday, God appeared and asked to have his name removed from the pledge of allegiance.

"I'd really rather not be bothered," God said. "I'm very busy, and, while I try, in my infinite omniscience, to listen to every girl and boy in America, the pledge is really just a mindless recitation that muddies up the Holy airwaves with empty, patriotic static."

God cautioned that he had nothing against patriotism and that he very much enjoyed almost every rendition of the Star Stangled Banner.

"I'm not a heathen," he said.