New Laws Good Until Fall of 2005, Says Rove

President Bush, having discovered the power of the "recess appointment" with his elevation of Judges Charles Pickering and William Pryor to higher courts, has invented the "recess bill," which he contends permits him to legally enact laws when Congress is not in session.

Bush said he felt the "recess bill" was a magnificent invention, and that he planned to pass several "recess amendments" to the Constitution banning gay marriage, giving more electoral votes to so-called "red states" and declaring that "just signing up for National Guard duty prior to 1990 constitutes military combat duty for purposes of a political election."

In the meantime, all GOP members of Congress have been denominated "High Priests of the Homeland" under President Bush's new "Religiosity" law passed yesterday.

"May the Lord and all wealthy corporations bless his little born-again soul," said Father Bill Frist (R- Tenn.).