January 13, 2004
U.S. Revises Self-Rule Plan; Replaces Caucuses With Caucasians

Responding to the demands of powerful Shiite leader Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani to get rid of caucuses as a method of selecting members of an interim Iraqi government, the United States has swiftly revised its initial plan and replaced the caucuses with caucasians.

The revised plan came about after senior advisors met with President Bush about the Ayatollah's concerns and discussed the planned caucuses.

"I had no idea there were so many caucasians in Iraq," said Bush. "Do they have black people there too?"

Despite attempts to explain to President Bush that the staff wanted to replace the caucuses with caucuses -- albeit "more transparent" caucuses than originally planned, whatever that means -- President Bush insisted that they tell the Ayatollah that "there's nothing wrong with caucasians choosing an interim government in Iraq."

The new plan is for a bunch of U.S. government supplied white people to choose the Iraqi interim government.

"It's very similar to the old plan, but it's more transparent," said Brent Doogledorf, a White House press spokesperson.

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:54 AM in News