Only Decision Remaining Is Which One Will Be President

Democrats were relieved to finally settle on a Democratic Dream Team Ticket consisting of Wesley Clark, John Edwards, John Kerry, and Howard Dean, even though neither the candidates nor the voters can decide exactly who should run for what.

"I want John Edwards, with John Kerry as Veep, Wesley Clark as Secretary of State, Howard Dean as the secret White House senior aid helping set domestic policy, and mustard and ketchup on the side," said Molly Hickok of Michafluen, Idaho.

"I totally agree," said Harmon Strum of Kentucky. "Except I want Kerry as President and some fries."

"It's so hard to decide," said Sally Weckleman of Ohio. "Everything looks so good."

"It''s good that Iowa and New Hampshire helped winnow the field from Howard Dean to Dean, Kerry, Edwards, and Clark," said Hugo Glockenspiel, an expatriated American living in Austin, Texas.

Glockenspiel hoped that the Democrats would finalize the ticket on February 3rd's "Super Tuesday," with its five primaries and two caucuses in seven states.

"I just hope that that won't narrow the field to the original nine," said Glockenspiel.