Found While Posing For Sculpture Of Man In Deep Hole

The model who was the basis for the famous Baghdad "Toppled Statue" was located today in what authorities call a "hole."

"It's really great," said Paul Bremer. "I'm pretty sure we'll have democracy inside of a week now."

Iraqis greeted the news with jubilation, and announced that they would now "get rid of all these warring tribes and factions," convert to Christianity, and form a stable democracy tomorrow.

"I'm really impressed," said Jorge Ipliano, a U.S. expert and consultant on terrorism. "It's amazing how quickly we can subdue and capture a castrated dictator."

The U.S. expects the entire Middle East region to stabilize by week's end, and terrorism to disappear from the planet as late as Thursday.