December 14, 2003
Model For Toppled Statue Found

Found While Posing For Sculpture Of Man In Deep Hole

The model who was the basis for the famous Baghdad "Toppled Statue" was located today in what authorities call a "hole."

"It's really great," said Paul Bremer. "I'm pretty sure we'll have democracy inside of a week now."

Iraqis greeted the news with jubilation, and announced that they would now "get rid of all these warring tribes and factions," convert to Christianity, and form a stable democracy tomorrow.

"I'm really impressed," said Jorge Ipliano, a U.S. expert and consultant on terrorism. "It's amazing how quickly we can subdue and capture a castrated dictator."

The U.S. expects the entire Middle East region to stabilize by week's end, and terrorism to disappear from the planet as late as Thursday.

Posted by Tom Burka at 7:30 PM in News