New York Governor Geroge Pataki today granted Lenny Bruce a posthumous pardon for cursing in public, prompting Kerry's campaign to announce that they would seek a pardon as well, as soon as the campaign was officially pronounced dead. (Kerry was recently assailed by Republicans for cursing in a Rolling Stone magazine interview .)

"We don't think we can seek posthumous relief for several weeks yet," said Kylie Fatigas, a Kerry campaign staffer.

Experts say the campaign still has a weak pulse and exhibits shallow breathing, although everyone agrees that brainwave activity stopped "a good while back."