December 12, 2003
France, Germany Crap On White House Carpet

Bush, Again, Smacks Countries On Nose With Rolled-Up Newspaper

President Bush was dealt a setback today in his efforts to train France and other countries to roll over when France and several other nations took large dumps on the rug.

"Gol' durn it," said Bush. He locked all the offending countries in the basement without supper.

"I don't understand," said a perplexed Bush as he fed small treats to the extremely cute nation Birkina Faso, which was curled up at his feet.

"I can't figure out why it's so hard to get these nations to do a few tricks," he said.

James Baker has been brought in to try and bring errant nations to heel.

"Sit!" Baker told Russia, but the only result of his command was that Andy Card quickly threw himself into a chair.

President Bush has countless hoops set up in the back yard for other countries to jump through.

"Some of them countries will go through every single one," he mused. "Some of them -- well, I guess we just haven't broken them yet."

Posted by Tom Burka at 12:06 PM in News