President Bush recently outlined a wish list of lofty goals to pursue over the next several years, mentioning sending more men to the moon, promoting longevity, ending child hunger, or even stopping global warming and providing actual security in the homeland.

"We are thinking about providing real funding to the Homeland Security Department," leaked Dick Cheney, "with the goal of actually making the nation secure. Or maybe we could establish a permanent outpost on the moon instead."

"You have to admit the moon outpost option is a lot sexier," leaked Karl Rove.

Nine out of ten Democrats said that sending a man to the moon was an excellent goal, as long as that man was George W. Bush. "We don't have much money to spend on big goals," said Democrat Kirsti Summers, who was taking up a collection, "but sending Bush to the moon could end up saving us trillions."