November 25, 2003
Senate Majority Leader Frist Reveals Prescription Bottle Permanently Grafted To Hand
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As a grim John Breaux looked on, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist revealed that a prescription drug container -- that Frist has appeared to be "holding" continually during the past six days -- had grown on his hand last week while he was sleeping, and does not appear to be removable.

Sen. Frist has appeared in approximately 7,241 photographs "holding" the bottle.

"I woke up one morning while we were considering this Medicare Reform Bill, and this pill bottle-shaped growth had completely taken over my fingertips," said Frist. "That's when I had the idea to tell people this was a 'Prescription Drug Benefit Bill.' That way I could show my face at these press conferences."

Doctors have concluded that attempts to surgically remove the growth could prove fatal. "We could slip," said Dr. Shevardnadze, who has recently joined the staff of the NIH.

"Just by trying to take care of this bottle of pills, we could kill the whole patient."

Posted by Tom Burka at 2:54 PM in News