November 4, 2003
Mel Gibson to Purchase Reagan Miniseries; Reagan Worshippers Promise to Boycott Flick

Mel Gibson, director of the controversial film of the life of Jesus Christ, snapped up the equally controversial "life of Ronald Reagan" miniseries when CBS declined to air it. CBS pulled the miniseries in response to loud protest by members of the "Cult of Reagan."

Gibson bought the miniseries because he "laughs at danger," according to a spokesman for Gibson.

Reagan cult members immediately announced that they will boycott the miniseries and pull Gibson's spleen out of his body with a giant set of sterling silver tweezers, bequeathed to them by the many Reaganites who also own huge sterling silver spoons.

Variety's Gabe Hocchhler, who covered the story under the headline "GOP PRICKS DEEP SIX RONNIE FLICKS" took time away from his rhyming dictionary long enough to say, "Just as Mel filmed his Christ epic in Sanskrit and provided English subtitles, he'll be subtitling the miniseries in black and white for the Repubican audience."

The SciFi Channel was disappointed in the sale to Gibson. They had been planning on buying the biopic and running it in a special episode of Mystery Science 3000, in which a few people opposed to censorship by wealthy bullies and politicians are marooned in space and forced to watch CBS's regular programming.

Posted by Tom Burka at 1:03 PM in News