The New York Times reported today that in late February, President Bush rebuffed a generous offer by Saddam Hussein to destroy much of Iraq, mercilessly kill his two sons, and go into hiding, saying, "We'd much rather do it on our own, thanks."

"My mother raised me to try and accomplish things all by myself, without the help of others, like my rich father with his ties to Big Oil and all his pals in government," Bush, Jr., said.

"American lives are a small price to pay for the gift of self reliance," he added.