October 9, 2003
White House To Reverse Policy Permitting North Korean Nuking of California

Administration Now thinks It Might Be A "Bad Idea"

In the wake of California's reelection, the White House has decided that its former policy toward North Korean development of nuclear missiles needs "rethinking," a senior White House aide leaked yesterday.

The White House had long ignored intelligence -- as well as outright boasts by Kim Il Jong -- that North Korea has an advanced nuclear weapons program, and is months away from developing nuclear missiles capable of reaching California.

"Really, what did we have to lose?" said Barney Musselman of the Vice President's Office. "Getting rid of California would have meant 54 electroal votes that some Democrat would not be getting."

"It appears we may have miscalculated, " said Musselman. "Now, if California disappears, that would be -- um -- yes, 54 votes that we might be losing."

The White House is considering several strategies to prevent the development of North Korean nukes, including: buying Kim Jong Il off; erecting a giant human shield over California, made up mostly of people from New York State; and redistricting.

Why resdistricting? "We figure you can never redistrict too much."

Posted by Tom Burka at 2:32 PM in News