September 25, 2003
Invisible WMD's Everywhere, Says Draft Report

Saddam Hussein had an advanced invisibility program, a draft report on the search for WMD's is to say. David Kay is set to reveal next week that there are countless untold WMD's virtually everywhere in , but we just can't see them.

The revelation set off a new search in . "We're searching for invisible bacteria, invisible viruses, invisible missiles, invisible anthrax, invisible pixie dust, and invisible atoms, which could be used to develop invisible nuclear weapons," said Captain Kronic Fatigue of the Weapons Detection Divison of the Twenty-Third Battalion Expeditionary Force.

"All that we've found so far is an invisible weapons program," he said.

Judith Miller of the New York Times said that her reports of the imminent disclosure of WMD's, filed constantly during the course of the war, had finally been vindicated.

"Ahmed Chalabi has been warning us about invisibility for a long time, but we just couldn't see it," said a White House official whose head and face were wrapped entirely in gauze bandages.

Donald Rumsfeld was uncharacterically smug as he recalled his earlier remarks to the American press that "just because you can't see them, that doesn't mean they aren't there."

"This likely explains why we haven't been able to find Saddam Hussein," he said.

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:43 AM in News