Miss Nebraska In New Hampshire

Atlantic City, NJ - Fierce winds from Hurricane Isabel have temporarily halted the Miss America pageant. Although ten contestants have been able to seek shelter behind Miss New York's big hair, others have not been so fortunate.

Miss Nebraska was swept away to New Hampshire, and several other Misses were blown anywhere other than New Jersey or their home states.

Clay Aiken, the spindly singer from American Idol who was to perform a musical number with the contestants, was blown clear across the Atlantic to Europe. The always-upbeat Aiken, reached at a Paris salon, piped, "It was great! I loved it! I love you, America!"

All of the contestants have been accounted for but one. Miss Kansas was caught up in the funnel of the hurricane and has mysteriously vanished, along with a cow, a house, and a woman peddling a bicycle.