Deanies and Clarkites Pursued By Officer Krupke

Clark supporters and Dean promoters called a rumble to be held Wednesday night to determine who stakes out the heart of the Democratic party. Allowable weapons are antiwar slogans, grass roots, domestic and foreign policy credentials, and large and small blogging devices.

"Don't go!" Mona Fisk cried tearfully to her roommate of three years, Dean devotee Sam Patel, who has spent the weekend sharpening a paper clip he uses to pry jammed disks from his CD-ROM drive. "We haven't divided the calls on the long distance phone bill!"

Frenchy O'Neill, from the Clark clan, promised victory. "I don't know how the Dean people will survive. We have thirty-plus years of military experience collectively, if you count the candidate. Plus I've got a blogroll and I'm not afraid to use it."

Dean followers espoused a take-no-prisoners approach, which includes berating the Clark gang and "disabling their comments."

Bernard Filbar, a liberal who is on the fence, is looking forward to the tussle. "I just want to watch. The Clark dudes will be fighting top-down, and the Deanies will be bottom-up. I'm not sure what that means, but I think they may be in exactly the same positions."