Bush Seeks New War To Save U.S. Soldiers' Lives

On May 1, 2003, President George W. Bush stood on the deck of the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln and announced the end of the war. However, the ensuing peace has not been kind.

At least one American soldier has died for each day passed since the war's end -- more than 60 deaths so far -- and scores more have been injured. Accordingly, the White House today announced it was searching for a war to start "in order to immediately ameliorate the growing danger to our young servicemen and women overseas."

Iran is a possibility, and Syria could also be a target. White House officials said that where the next war takes place is irrelevant. "The important thing is not to spend a lot of time deliberating about who to attack, but to attack as soon as possible, so we can get this deadly peace behind us," said Donald Rumsfeld.

"It's not a guerilla war that's killing us," Rumsfeld explained. "It's guerilla peace."

"The fact that the majority of these deaths -- almost 40 so far -- come from non-combat related instances, simply shows how dangerous peace can be," Rumsfeld added.

Karl Rove dismissed suggestions that war was safer for President Bush's relelection campaign than peace. "That's simply absurd,' he said, as he watched President Bush happily playing a round of golf.

The New York Times notes:

Since major combat for the 150,000 troops in was declared over on May 1, more than 60 Americans, including 25 killed in hostile encounters, have died in Iraq, about half the number of deaths in the two months of the initial campaign.

Update: Billmon of Whiskey Bar says it perfectly here.