May 9, 2003
Enterprising GOP Senators Raise Taxes So They Can Cut Them; Will Also Restore Frederick Douglass House Then Tear It Down

Enterprising GOP Congressmen were on a roll, stopping at nothing, working around the clock to get some real work done in Washington. First they're going to raise taxes so they can cut them, then they're going to restore the home of Frederick Douglass, then bulldoze it.

"Since we renamed the French Fry, we've just been on a productive roll unlike anything Americans have seen before," said Dennis Hastert. Future GOP projects include:

  • dropping watermelons off of the Capitol dome and then gluing them back together;
  • filling up the Grand Canyon with loam and turning it into a stunning golf course, and then "maybe" digging the Canyon again;
  • flying to Denver, Colorado and hopping the very next flight back; and
  • putting toothpaste back in the tube.

Posted by Tom Burka at 11:41 AM in News